another joke. its really funny but abit long. taken frm the same website too
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone call that I had to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and may I please speak to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits.After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying on my desk.
I decided to call it again.
When the same person once more answered, I yelled, "You're a jackass!" and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass" and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He would answer and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It always cheered me up.
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me. I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number and heard his voice.
"Hello?"I made up a name.
"Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our new caller ID program."
He answered, "No!" and slammed down the receiver.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"
The reason I'm taking the time to tell you this story is to show you how if there's ever anything bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 555-1212.
(Keep reading, it gets better.)
One day an old lady at the mall was really taking her time pulling out of her parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move ever so slowly and she began backing out. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room.
Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camero came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulled into her space.
I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't do that, buddy! I was here first!"The guy got out of his Camero completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me.
I thought to myself, this guy is a jackass. There sure are a lot of jackasses in this world.
I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
The next day I was at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 555-1212 and yelling, "You're a jackass!"(It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.).
Then I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro and decided to call him too. After a couple of rings someone answered the phone.
I asked, "Are you the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
"Yes."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car is parked right out front."
I asked, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen.""When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Sure."
"Don, you're a jackass!"
And I slammed the phone down.After I hung up I added Don's number to my speed dialer. Now I had two jackasses to call whenever I had a bad day. However this wasn't as much fun as it used to be. So I thought about it and came up with a solution.
First, I had my phone dial jackass #1. The man answered nicely and I yelled, "You're a jackass!" But I didn't hang up.
The jackass said, "Are you still there?"I
said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No!"
He said, "What's your name, pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
He said, "Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro is parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" And I hung up.
Then I called Jackass #2.
He answered, "Hello."I said, "Hello, jackass!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your butt.""Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, jackass!"And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.
After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious!I watched two jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter I also taped it off the evening news!
here's another one, her jokes are funny yea, go see.
Ah huay went for a job interview, and when the manager saw him wearing a colorful shirt, golden hair, streaked red tie and white shoes, he screamed in his mind, "OH MY GOD! THIS CAN'T BE IT, WOMEN!"
Since he had no choice, he had a wild idea.
"If you can make a sentance out of GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE, and BLACK, I'll give you this job."
Ah huay thought awhile, and said. "I heard the phone go GREEN GREEN GREEN! Than I go PINK up the phone, and said, "YELLOW? BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Don't PURPLEly go disturb people, and dont call BLACK, ok? Kum siah."The manager fainted.
so go tu
http://jokediary.comyeah! i went to the doctor alr. he gimme charcoal to eat. not that kind dummy, the other kind. i noe u're thinkin of this.
but too bad it isnt. :DD
when i came back i saw this on the internet:
Our last day?Asteroid may hit Earth on April 13, 2029
ZOMG!! i wont even die of old age, i'll die of i dont noe wad. LOL!!
here's a joke. i took awhile tu realise wad it was about. im slow, i noe.
LOL!!
a few jokes frm
http://jokediary.comThe man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman.
"No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of gold."
She said she didn't believe him so she called the bar.
"Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question; are your urinals covered in gold?"
To which she heard the bartender say, "Hey, Clarence, I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone."
LOL!!
HELLOO~ people reading this and not reading this!! I LOVE ALL OF U!! i didnt update like arnd like a month? LOL!!
1st day of skooli dread it. but it was still ok*. ms lim-form teacher of us, again. lin lao shi isnt our chinese teacher anymore. *sobs*. our chinese teacher is the zu ren, chen lao shi lah. #@!? the zu ren tok until so fast and soft, i couldnt catch a single word on the first lesson lah. LOL. went home at 1 for the first day BUT actually on wednesday we're let off at arnd 4.30 or smth liddat. :D
until nowi carnt go tu skool 2dae neh. i got diahroae(how do u spell tat anyway?) yea. and homeec mslim change tu ms lena lerh. oh, how i love mslim larh! she's funny~. loves. hohohoho.
ohyeah. and nowadays alot hw so tats why i carnt blog when skool reopen too. i feel pressure come back alr lor. eeyer. tmr im gonna take the quiz tat i missed. *cross fingers tat no hw.*
I PROMISE TO UDATE REGULARY.
ther's this bio experiment on diffusion lah. then yesterday take the egg outofthecup. very soft and smth liddat lar. todae they're gonna open the inside. D: i nah go. miss out on the fun. eeyer, not fair. i dont really understand bout the topic tho. anyone care tu teach? i noe lah. im just plain dumb can.
TAG REPLIES.
STEPH; YAROLOR, SO DARN BIG!!
xiuwen; lOl? must be back.
christy; hanor, sshe veri evil derh neh. yar, me too, shd let her choose her own. :D
STEPH; lOl!! yo.
xiuwen; we're not. if u nth for us tu against the we wont be against'ting u. :D if u kind, no one on the earth is evil. :)
christy; lOl!! so chim, i dont understand. =x
xiuwen; stop bullshiting. ohyeahj, im not unhder the bed, im ABOVE the ed and goin tu see a doc.
christy; i come back alr!! :D
xiuwen; shuddup
STEPH; HERE~!! *waves madly*
is this post loong?
Our last day?Asteroid may hit Earth on April 13, 2029
